Infidelity is one of the most devastating and traumatic events that couples experience. It marks an abrupt departure from the relationship you thought you had to one that is characterized by deep pain, anger, shame, hurt, fear and anxiety. This type of betrayal, according to John Gottman, is usually the symptom of a dying marriage, not the cause. What I want my clients to know about infidelity is that many couples survive this type of rupture. In fact, after targeted therapy, couples not only survive infidelity but report a stronger and healthier marriage than they had before. While it is true that your old marriage is over, the affair recovery process can give rise to a more conscious, secure and healthier version of a new marriage. In order for this type of relationship healing to be possible, both partners must be committed to the deep work required to create both individual growth and relationship change. This work requires complete transparency, patience, vulnerability and a willingness to work with your partner to co-create a healthier and more nourishing dynamic.